And we’re back!

Well…. Where do we even begin!? It’s been a while since I’ve put up a new post,  but big things have happened!  The biggest thing (clearly) has been the arrival of our little girl! Baby H was born on March 17th (St.  Patrick’s day….. Someone’s 19th birthday is going to be interesting…) after a very long labour and eventual c-section our lives were changed. Birth is such a crazy sureal experience, I’m so grateful for the amazing people I had with me.  I had a very natural birth planned, which included a midwife,  labouring in a whirlpool tub and no pain medication.  For the first 22 hours I laboured without any pain medication (other than laughing gas) and it wasn’t that bad.  I guess maybe because of my history with extreme menstrual cramps labour pains weren’t really that bad.  (my apologies to everyone who will give me shift for saying this – but it’s my truth!)
I suppose this is where my birth plan went out the window.  I became stuck at 8cm for about 4 hours and Baby H was facing up.  After trying to turn the baby and having pitocin to try and progress the labour,  it was decided that the safest way to get the baby out would be a c-section.  Not exactly what I had planned or wanted, and if I’m being honest I was really upset about it.  I had worked so hard to make sure I was in the best position to have a natural birth and felt like a huge failure.

So there you have it. Baby H wad born, and like many cesearan babies she was admitted to the NICU due to minor breathing problems (which resolved themselves within an hour) and a minor bout with jaundice. We spent 4 days at the hospital and then were finally released. These were the longest 4 days of my life, as the baby was only allowed out of the incubator for an hour at a time, and only two people were able to visit her at once, one of which had to be myself or my husband. I spent a lot of time with Netflix, kobo and pumping in those days, getting myself acquainted with living on three hour schedule. You think you can picture what it will be like to have tiny human rely on you for sustenance, but it’s nothing at all like I imagined. I thought I would have no problems with breast feeding and being up during the all nighters through growth spurts, but I’m here to tell you, I am not a saint. I get frustrated. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I have to tap out and have my husband take over.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

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